Act I, Scene IV

Ok I’m going to actually post a section of my screenplay now, since I do like this piece. The rest feels like garbage so far 8) No worries! As Anne Lammott says, Shitty First Drafts are super important and no one needs to see them! This can use some tweaks and be longer, but the general feel is spot on for what I want to portray. Here goes.

INT. PARENTS’ APARTMENT – DAY

MOTHER (60) cracks the door open.

MOTHER
This is unexpected.

DYLAN
Thought I’d drop in.

MOTHER
Well come in.

DYLAN
Thanks ma.

DYLAN pecks MOTHER on the cheek and walks in. FATHER (65) sits in a recliner, fixing a watch. He looks up at DYLAN briefly then looks back down.

FATHER
Shouldn’t you be at work?

DYLAN
Hi papa. Do you need help?

FATHER
No, thank you.

MOTHER (O.S.)
I’m bringing in some tea.

DYLAN
No thanks, ma – I’m just here for a minute.

FATHER
So what’s wrong?

DYLAN
Did I say something was wrong?

FATHER looks up.

DYLAN
Uhh, well I decided to look for another job.

FATHER
What’s wrong with the cafe?

DYLAN
Nothing, I just feel like I could do better.

FATHER
Well don’t quit before you find something stable.

FATHER continues working on the watch.

DYLAN
Yeah… I, uh, kinda got laid off.

MOTHER (O.S.)
What?!

DYLAN
Don’t freak out, ma.

MOTHER walks in.

MOTHER
What do you mean you got laid off? Why?

DYLAN
I was sorta late this morning, so Sylvia replaced me.

MOTHER
Rochel-eh!

DYLAN
Don’t call me that.

MOTHER
How many times do I have to tell you to get your head out of the clouds? You’re a mother! You can’t just play around like you want!

DYLAN
I know, ma! It wasn’t my fault. I’ll-

MOTHER
Of course it’s your fault, you were late! Why were you late?

DYLAN
It doesn’t matter!

MOTHER
What do you mean it doesn’t matter?!

DYLAN
Ma!

FATHER
Enough!
(beat)
So she lost her job. So she’ll find another. Do you need money?

DYLAN
No, we’re fine.

FATHER
Are you sure? Do you need to come stay with us a while?

DYLAN
No, papa.

FATHER
Well. If you change your mind…

DYLAN
Yeah.

MOTHER stomps into the kitchen.

DYLAN
We’d kill each other if I lived here, you know.

FATHER
We’d kill each other?

DYLAN gestures in the direction of her mother. FATHER lowers his eyes. DYLAN waits for a reply, then starts to walk out the door. MOTHER walks up to her and grabs DYLAN’S hand as she places it on the doorknob.

MOTHER
Rochel-eh, why is everything so crazy with you?

DYLAN
Nothing’s crazy with me. I just live differently than you.

MOTHER
But why can’t you just do things simply? Go to work, take care of your child. Why do you always make things confusing? When you were a little girl I stayed home and did everything for you.

DYLAN
Ugh, ma. Enough with the guilt. And you were never a single mom.

MOTHER
Well whose fault is that? I keep telling you you should-

DYLAN
NO. I’m going.

MOTHER
At least give your mother a hug.

DYLAN hugs MOTHER tensely and shuts the door behind her.

DYLAN
Why the fuck do I even bother?

DYLAN runs down the stairs.

Love’s first bite

This week’s exercise is about creating tension in an otherwise happy situation. Those of you who know me well can probably piece this together into the rest of my life well. I’m having fun doing this! Hope you enjoy.

***

I was floating on cloud nine. I had finally met the love of my life, and I was living out on my own. We spent days and nights together, hardly ever apart. Our colorful room, decorated with christmas lights and paintings of nude women, was a place of excitement, passion, and conversations about saving the world that went deep into the night. We cooked pasta together, his arms wrapped around my waist and kisses gently placed on my neck and shoulders. A mix of Bailey’s and ice cream was a perfect evening drink, indeed. Parties welcomed us with open arms, as we danced half dressed in the glow of neon lights and a little ecstasy, a smile spreading endlessly across our faces. His friends remarked on how happy he finally was, having spent most of his years in deep depression and anxiety.

***

He placed the edge of the capsule on the mirror and tapped gently. He handed me a card.

“Break it up a little.”

Eagerly I mixed the white dust around, making two piles that were exactly the same to the crumb. He licked the mirror first. I hesitated, and licked the second pile. I was working up to bigger highs, not really knowing what to expect with larger doses. He was patient and in no hurry. Though the pills did come out of the box about every other day or so. As did the Roughies.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea to take stimulants so often,” I said as he was shaving in the shower.

He peeked out from behind the curtain, “They help me wake up and be productive.”

I shrugged and walked out. He’s older. He must know what he’s doing, I thought.

***

I spread my legs and the flash went off. I bent backwards and more flickering lights hit my skin. Completely naked, post-coitus, a high painted on my droopy eyelids. He hooked the camera up to his computer and started uploading the pictures.

“In my perfect world, everyone is always naked and having sex,” he said while clicking the mouse.

“Don’t you think there are some situations where that wouldn’t work out?”

“Not really. If we just allow ourselves to be completely free and have no boundaries then war and anger will perish.”

***

“Um, these are interesting pictures,” my friend said when I showed him the website.

“This is just like any other form of expression. Sex is everything – it is the very essence of life, you can bring everything in the universe back to orgasm. So we’re sharing ourselves freely with the world in hopes that they will find themselves a little freer too. No boundaries.”

“Yeah… You know he could go to jail for taking these?”

“Well my parents aren’t going do anything about us, and they aren’t going to find this site, so we’re fine.”

My friend closed the lid of his computer. “I support you in whatever choices you make, you know that. I just hope you’re being careful.”

“Of course I am! I know how to take care of myself.” I hugged him and left.

Outline V1

I decided to really get my outline down, so that I can have something to aim for when I’m writing. I haven’t implemented that much yet, version 3 of the script is only at page 8 or so at the moment. But I’d love to hear feedback on the following. The only note I have for it right now (after implementing many already) is that Dylan’s hallucinations don’t really have a place in the story. I feel like they need to have more purpose and definitely some kind of closure. Why does she have them, what do they mean? And is it odd to have a “sane” character with hallucinations and at the same time a schizophrenic who practically lives in an imagined world? I might have to cut them altogether, or make them more like flashbacks/memories/thoughts rather than visions that control her. Feedback welcomed, as always!

I. Homeostasis (10 minutes)
1. Dylan paints, remembers her childhood – which was difficult. Get a sense of Dylan’s light and dark: dark is the past, light is her present affinity for beauty in details (this is a constant: see beautiful shots wherever she goes from Dylan’s POV). We see a letter from a gallery asking for Dylan to showcase her work, but she throws the letter in the fireplace.
2. Lily comes home with Vera, Dylan feeds her. Dylan and Vera have discourse over how often V watches L.
3. Visits her parents briefly where we see her trying to connect with them, and how they very clearly misunderstand who she is. But they offer financial help (or a place to stay if things are rough) and she refuses it.
4. Dylan takes Lily to daycare, goes to work

II. Inciting Event (10 minutes)
1. On the way to work, she is distracted by a beautiful scene (i.e. raindrops on a clear overhang). She ends up following a train of her own thoughts that lead her on a beauty-filled walk, away from work. She ends up at a park with a statue that “speaks to her”.
2. She meets Brady who comments on the same thing she’s looking at. The exchange is brief but unusual – Brady comes off as intriguing: intelligent and quiet. She gets snapped out of her imagination and remembers that she needs to go to work, for which she is already late.
3. She gets fired for being late again and has to reconstruct her life. Getting and keeping a job is very hard for her
4. Has to explain to Vera & Lily what happened. Vera leaves because she has had it with Dylan’s instability.
5. Dylan puts Lily to bed, then has a hallucination which echoes moments between her parents and herself. Fade out on her panting.

III. Fist Hurdle (25 minutes)
1. Dylan goes to an interview, uninspired but somewhat determined.
2. She meets Brady again, they have a deep connection. There are hints that he doesn’t remember her from before. He tells her about experiences in his life that have an existential flavor to them. [Flashbacks to his memories, which are somewhat Burton-esque.]
3. She walks off with him, forgetting about her interview. This shows her nature, she’d rather do what’s spontaneous than what’s responsible.
4. She takes him home, where they end up creating a piece of art together. Sexual tension is apparent, but on a subtle level. No cheez.
5. The evening is cut short as she gets a call from the daycare that no one has picked Lily up yet.
6. She rushes over to the daycare only to find a very upset daughter. They go home in silence. Lily goes to her room and locks herself in.

IV. Second Hurdle (20 minutes)
1. Brady comes to visit in the morning. He and Lily have a connective moment where they discuss cosmic balance in a way that a schizo and child would agree upon.
2. He tells Dylan he has a job for her. There is only a gut sensation transferred that something isn’t right. Nothing outright. Dylan says to Lily that things are going to change. Lily is skeptical. Dylan is very enthused.
3. Brady ends up taking her to a condemned building where he is convinced that he’s the boss and goes through an interview process with her as she stares in shock. As she comes to, she starts to tell him that they’re not really in an office, that he’s imagining things. What she says trips a childhood memory which he disappears into. He mistakes Dylan for his mother, yelling and crying. He tells her to leave and she does, calmly but completely distraught.
4. At home she mills around, devastated that her job and love interest were not real. The blood on her painting comes alive, and she ends up dismantling her piano in a semi-psychotic tantrum.

V. Breakdown (15 minutes)
1. Lily wakes Dylan up, looking very worried and hurt. Spends her day in silence.
2. She briefly calls Vera to ask for support, but Vera stands firm on her decision to not be involved with her anymore.
3. Dylan takes Lily to the zoo, but Lily refuses to smile or talk to her. Eventually Lily tells Dylan that no matter how hard things are, it’s important to keep going (something smart and cute that a 5 year old could say). Dylan tells her she will talk to her mom & dad about helping them out, and that maybe they can even move in there.
4. Dylan goes to visit her parents, but is forcefully reminded of the mess her childhood was. She has a complete break down and runs away, ending up at the same park with the statue.
5. Brady happens to be where she stopped, and reminds her that things aren’t really so bad. He doesn’t remember her, however, and it’s as though they are meeting for the first time. She feels compassion and love for him.

VI. Resolution (10 minutes)
1. She decides to make money with her art, taking up the offer that she turned down before for fear of sharing her pain with the world. Vera visits her show and acknowledges Dylan’s change.
2. Brady continues to be an uncertain but consistent presence in their lives in whatever capacity he can be. Sometimes he remembers them, sometimes not. But the love he has for her is always in his eyes, even if he thinks he’s seeing her for the first time.

Approx. Running Time 1:30